Do I look bothered?

I’m in one of those moods today. I feel grumpy and uncomfortable due to the intestinal unrest caused by my medication. I feel like letting a few folks have it. If you’re reading this… I’m not sorry it’s you; If you’re not reading this… I’m still not sorry it’s you. To kick things off I’d like to start with my morning. I had a wonderful workout at in the pool. I did water running and aerobic, an exercise I find extremely taxing yet rejuvenating until… I got back to the locker room and realized I’d forgotten my body wash at home. So let’s start with the first lady to salt my wound….


To you the girl in the pool locker room lovingly caressing yourself with your Shea butter and honey Lubriderm lotion, periodically peeking over at me to see how my goodies looked, I say BITE ME!!!


When I’m done in the pool and have showered and what not the only thing I want to do is dry, dress, and get my chunky ass out of the locker room so as few people as possible will see my wobbly bits…. But you…. you were done showering, dressed, moisturized and making me just a wee bit uncomfortable with all that lotioning.
I also noticed you had on a “STAFF” T-shirt. Which kinda fueled my internal outrage just a bit more… because shouldn’t you be getting your behind to work?
Yes I know… I should have stripped down without any insecurity and let the world see my naughty bits… or at least everyone who walked by… but hey, I’m not there yet. The chest… yes, go ahead and look. The legs… yes, take a gander. The gut… I’m not sharing it unless you’re rubbing it.
I heard you sniggle a little when I was balancing on one foot attempting to keep my candy heart panties dry while simultaneously putting them on. You just sat there with a sweet little innocent look on your face as I fell against the locker to keep myself semi upright. Kick Rocks chick! I hope you had a great day B*tch!


Next off… the Communications Director who sits up on the 6th floor.


I gave you two layouts yesterday… to which I was given no reply. You have been at your desk poot putting around, pretending to read that big book of BLAH. I requested your comments yesterday, and if you had no time to go over it a simple I’ll look them over, or these are in the direction I want to go would have done.
Instead you’re going to wait till Friday, knowing full well you need the document on Monday. And then when I’m trying to leave early you’re going to throw a monkey wrench in my plan. Well lady you too can BITE ME! On Friday when it’s time for me to go home I won’t be answering your call. It’s a good thing our work phones come with caller ID. Step in my Office b%itch, you’re FIRED!


Last but not least to my Roommate, this rant’s for you. Provided purely b/c she pisses me off on a Daily basis.


You know we all have issues and a head ache or sore knee shouldn’t stop us from taking care of our business as adults. Hell a hurt ankle sure as fuck didn’t stop you from asking me to bring you something home to eat after you’d set your FAT ass on the couch all day. To you I say Get a gottdamn JOB! Maybe a girlfriend while you’re at it. If you’re not screwing me and I’m paying rent then I shouldn’t have to look at your ass every evening when I get home.
You keep that TV on all day and night as though you are missing life without it. For you it really has turned into the boob tube. I don’t know what you’d do if you missed anyone of your stupid ass shows. I am almost certain they make you dumber and dumber each and everyday. Oh yeah and FYI… being fat, laying on the couch all day, and not eating hasn’t made you any skinnier, it only pisses me off b/c you claim to have one of those headaches that is only cured by watching… you guessed it…. MORE TV! In fact it looks like you’ve gained a few!
I’m looking forward to when you begin work and I’m praying that it’s some kind of late shift so that I can get my fucking freak on at home while your ass is gone; in addition to saving up to get away from you… I think I might just take a loan out on that plan.


I say good day… to those of you not mentioned, and thanks for reading.