Lesbian sex with a man

I don’t know how I end up in this strange predicament. It could be that I’m such a good sport or that I just look like the kinda girl that would not judge you go for this sorta thing, but I seem to always end up with that guy dishing out “lesbian sex”. Granted within the past few years I’ve been with very few… as in Two… men and I will never understand how they/I find each other. Basic equation goes like this…

A Phat Ass + Small Junk = Miss Connection

What is lesbian sex with a man you ask? It’s having sex with a man who is NOT endowed or erectile-E fit in any way and excepting the usual attempt at penetration and or (finger f*cking), hand job he offers up in addition to sub-prime cunnalingus…. I should totally add that to the urban dictionary.

My first male lesbian was a hook up from around the way. He’s your everyday boy who likes his place in disarray; take out for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and that all too famous eu de toilette of dirty socks, fried onions and corn chips. He’s just your average All American bachelor. So a friend hooked us up I guess b/c she figured I was {horny} lonely and he was {horny} lonely and basically we weren’t doing very much to fix the situation. Our first night together was a festival of bloopers or more like an unsuccessful game of twister. That night I know I’d had “sex” but wasn’t sure when. I remember the tongue play and the role play but I didn’t remember anything going in or coming out. So I tried it again… This time we played and tussled, wrestled and caressed and at the end of it all… there was no inter-course. I decided to take matters into my own hands, literally. But this didn’t change the scene any.

I must have been a glutton for punishment, or maybe the head was getting pretty good, but I continued this emotion-less twister game for about a month until he learned a new skill! Our mutual friend was a lesbian and while they were chatting it up one day she told him about the two finger thrust. A skill I helped him master quit easily, as it benefited me greatly. Eventually our “times” were over and I moved on to actual women and explored my meow side.

I think the last guy really tipped the scale for me. Last week I was experiencing this voracious “itch” so decided to meet a man the usual way busy, urban, professional women do… I placed an ad and met “C.” I chose this guy because he came at me with the most professionalism and tact. His telephone and text swagger was confident and sexy, not to mention his picture looked fine. What I should have learned is … beware of the guy who doesn’t send you a picture of his “junk.”
I find out he’s a frat brother of my sorority and he’s got mad conversation skills…. Not exactly what I was looking for… but totally made up for his short comings.

So I get to his home and we’re commencing the 12 play. The lights are low, Niagara Falls is flowing and we are rubbing and caressing. Clothes are off and we begin the twister game. All I can do here is shake my head. We played twister until it was so dark out side I couldn’t be seen. Until I laid my smack down and taught him a few things… yes it’s like that.
Two 22oz. Slurpee’s and a bag of ruffles later I find out he’s cheating on his girlfriend with me. You know I asked him why… and like I’ve learned from so many men before… the answer was because he could. It’s a good thing I’m not getting serious with this dude, and I fear for the woman that is, is all I gotta say. For this last guy I came to the conclusion that he does this because of the size of his junk. Despite the confident swagger he covered himself with a towel like a little boy at camp when it was all over.

I have these questions that I’m sure will go unanswered unless someone with ED or SP happens to read this. I still have them because at the time I just didn’t have the “balls” to ask…. why as a man should you keep going, if the puzzle piece doesn’t fit? Is it part of that alpha male, Napoleon complex, thing? Sufficed to say I won’t be playing this game any more, I think I’ve had my fair share.

Maybe my readers have some insight.